The Gentleman’s Guide to the Ultimate Best Man Speech

The Gentleman’s Guide to the Ultimate Best Man Speech

Because a true gentleman doesn’t just raise a glass—he raises the bar.

Being asked to be the best man is like being handed a tuxedo-shaped grenade. It’s an honour—absolutely—but it comes with the explosive responsibility of delivering a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons. Do it well, and you’ll be quoted for years. Do it poorly, and you’ll be the wobbling voice in someone’s wedding video that future children giggle at.

Fear not, sir. Here is your Gentleman’s Guide to crafting and delivering the ultimate best man speech—one that’s classy, witty, heartfelt, and just bold enough to remind everyone why the groom trusted you with the job.

1. Start by Being a Gentleman, Not a Stand-Up Comic

Let’s get this out of the way early: this is not your Netflix special. Your job isn’t to roast the groom into a fine ash; it’s to celebrate him—preferably while still keeping his new in-laws from reassessing the marriage.

A gentleman strikes balance. You can be funny, but aim for warm humour rather than frat-house demolition. Think “subtle eyebrow-lifting jest,” not “remember that time he…?” Save the truly unhinged anecdotes for the bachelor party. If you did your job correctly, they won’t remember those anyway.

2. Begin Strong: Gratitude First, Jokes Second

A best man speech should start as elegantly as a freshly pressed Oxford shirt. Begin with gratitude:

• Thank the hosts.

• Congratulate the newlyweds.

• Acknowledge the bridal party.

This buys you immediate goodwill. Once you’ve charmed the room with your manners, then you can pivot into the humour. It’s like ordering whisky—you start neat, then let it loosen a little.

3. Tell a Story, Not a List of Inside Jokes

The best speeches aren’t rants—they’re narratives. Pick one or two meaningful stories that show who the groom really is. A tale of loyalty. A moment of growth. A snapshot that reveals his character.

And please, gentleman to gentleman: avoid inside jokes that only three people get. If the room collectively tilts its head like a group of Labradors hearing a whistle, you’ve lost them.

If you want to include humour, do it through storytelling—self-deprecating humour works best. Show the groom’s strengths by first showing your own questionable judgment.

4. Compliment the Bride (or Partner) Without Sounding Like You’re Auditioning

There is a delicate art to complimenting the bride or partner. The goal is to show admiration… while sounding absolutely not like a man who has rehearsed the speech in front of a mirror wearing his “mysterious stranger” face.

Praise their warmth, their kindness, their compatibility with the groom. Highlight why the groom is now a better man because of them.

Keep it gentlemanly. Keep it elegant. And keep your eyes above shoulder level.

5. Avoid These Rookie Mistakes (Seriously, Avoid Them)

A gentleman does not:

• Mention past relationships. Ever.

• Swear like he’s narrating a war documentary.

• Ramble on for nine minutes searching for a point he left at the bar.

• Drink his courage in liquid form before speaking.

• Make the speech about himself.

If you feel unsure whether something is appropriate, imagine the bride’s grandmother hearing it. If she would clutch her pearls, delete the line.

6. Land the Plane with Heart

End with sincerity. This is the moment where you shift from “funny best friend” to “trusted brother.” Offer real wisdom, share a hopeful wish for the couple, and deliver your toast smoothly.

Something like:“May your home always be filled with laughter, your adventures be many, and your arguments be short-lived and easily blamed on a lack of sleep.”

Raise your glass. Smile. Sit down. You’ve done your job.

7. Remember: Style Is Part of the Speech

The way you carry yourself matters. Shoulders back. Chin up. Speak slowly. Smile when it counts. You’re not just delivering a toast—you’re embodying the dignity of the moment.

And if you can sneak in a pocket square that subtly matches the wedding palette? That’s the sort of quiet swagger that makes a gentleman unforgettable.

In the end, the best man speech isn’t about perfection. It’s about authenticity, class, and a bit of wit—all things the modern gentleman can master. Deliver those, sir, and the room will know exactly why you were chosen.